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A cult needs a charismatic leader, almost by definition, doesn’t it?

Good heavens, I hope not. I’m a little more of the shy, introverted type. I’m pretty sure charisma is only necessary if your trying to extract money, blind commitment to mayhem and/or group suicide, and sexual obsequiousness.

Okay, so then who are you?

Just a regular joe. Divorced father of 2 living outside Seattle. Long career in psychotherapy. Using the pseudonym E. Wayne Graceland for my role as cult leader. Pretty close to my real name though.


And now I’m your follower?

I mean…I guess. Technically. After all you did join my cult. But I’m not really asking you to do much of anything. The emphasis here being NOTHING. I guess it’s somewhat analogous to the tree falling in the forest when no ones around. That said, it would be nice if you were able to find a sense of devotion to our nothingness, and a proud willingness to identify as a follower. Again, you did join my cult.

So what do I do now?

Short answer, nothing. Longer answer, whatever feels right. Stay in the moment? Really contemplate just how big nothing can be? Call a friend and tell them you joined a cult? Get back to work? Go watch the rest of your kid's soccer practice since you have to pick them up in the next 45 minutes anyway and you're not really doing anything all that important?


Can you tell me a little more (I did give you $5-20, after all)?

Well like I said, it’s kind of a work in progress and will likely continue to be one. You’ll get messages from me through the web site that may or may not prove useful and/or inspiring, about once or twice a month. You’ll eventually be able to chat with other followers. You’ll get to see how big our cult has grown each time you log in and watch your seniority rise, which I imagine will feel pretty good. After all, your follower number is yours for a lifetime!

Oh, about that, can I quit?

Yeppers. Stop participating and you are effectively out. No expensive extraction for your parents or children. No lengthy debriefing to return you to pre-cult baseline. No ongoing therapy for trauma. And no lingering confusion about sexual obsequiousness.


Wow, and really now ritualistic sexual abuse? Ever?

No ritualistic sexual abuse. Ever.

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